Why should I have to deal with all this? Why does all this have to happen to me? Why should I care if he/she is hurt? I dint do anything wrong to suffer for this. It is not my mistake at all. I don’t care whatever you say to me. This are the questions and the psychological paradigm which go through anyone’s mind when they land in some problem or they have a fight with friends or family.
If you are not the one responsible for the things happening to you. Who is it? Nearly 90 % of the times you’ll have your own name as the answer but if there is an answer except your own name then there can be three options you can choose amongst.
- You can talk to the person if you consider him/her to be a significant part in whatever has happened and you consider talking to the person might resolve the issue.
- Depending on the circumstances which you went through during the conflict which may be an active exchange of blows or a misunderstanding without any talks and the importance of the person in your life you can leave the conflicts behind and move on with the person as if nothing had happened.
- Leave the person behind if it didn’t matter and the decision is never going to hurt you.
As the degree of importance of the person decrease so must the selection of the options. If you consider the third option for somebody important you’ll end up hurting yourself very badly whereas if you consider the first option for somebody not much important you’ll be wasting your time making the other person what you actually meant.
But the best of all these options is to leave the decision to the other person if the fault is yours. Let the other person decide how much important you are to him and how much you have hurt him during the fights because it is not fair taking the decision on your own when you know you hurt the others.
Fight is just a simple word when we consider it between two people which is not always the case. The fight may be amongst two groups, two communities, two states or even two countries.